Friends with Benefits and Domestic Violence. - Can I File a Domestic Violence Case Against My “Friend with Benefits” or “Situationship”?

The Domestic Violence Prevention Act of California (DVPA) allows people in dating relationships to seek restraining order to protect against violence to people in abusive, dating relationships.  But what is considered a “dating relationship”? What if the relationship is strictly sexual or undefined by the parties engaged in the relationship? 

Culturally, our understanding of relationships evolves, the lines between what a romantic relationship is – or is not – can get blurry. A recent case in the California Court of Appeals, M.A. v. B.F., helps to clarify what constitutes a dating relationship for the purpose of filing a claim for domestic violence. 

The Appellate Court concluded that determining whether a dating relationship exists is largely dependent on the facts and evidence of the case. Family Code § 6210 defines a dating relationship as one that consists of “frequent, intimate associations primarily characterized by the expectation of affection or sexual involvement independent of financial considerations.” The court will determine that a dating relationship existed if there is substantial evidence to show frequent and intimate associations between the two parties. 

The court in M.A. v. B.F. did not find that there was a dating relationship between the two parties, because despite their “friends with benefits” relationship that was intimate in nature, the parties saw each other in person only eight times over 19 months, which the court decided were not “frequent associations” as described in FC § 6210. 

This recent decision does not mean that a “friends with benefits” relationship or an undefined/unlabeled “situationship” could never be considered dating to support a claim for domestic violence. It is difficult to identify dating relationships as they relate to domestic violence, especially as relationships become more nuanced. On one hand, someone could have frequent associations with a long-term business associate, but have no intimate relationship, and on the other, a couple can engage in intimate activities and present as a couple in public but have no definitive labels. Therefore, it is up to the court to determine if there is a dating relationship based on evidence and facts on a case-by-case basis.

If you have experienced domestic violence, you do not have to struggle alone. At Livingstone Law, APC, we’ve represented hundreds of litigants over 28 years, advocating for protected and restraining parties. See our reviews on Avvo.com.