Prepare

Family Court Services (FCS) lasts about an hour or two. You will have about 30 minutes or so to give information about your children and your situation to the mediator.

Keep in mind that the mediator will make a recommendation to the court if you cannot reach an agreement with the other parent. Vera Livingstone meets with her client in advance of the FCS (custody) mediation, so they are prepared and able to use their mediation time to their advantage. Vera’s goal is for clients to be informed before they attend family court services custody mediation. It is a stressful time for litigants and being prepared is key to a successful outcome.

Focus on the children

Stay focused on the children and what is best for them. Your proposed custody plan should have your children’s best interest in mind. The mediator might not give much weight to information that is parent focused. Tell the mediator why the parenting plan is best for your children. Avoid requesting “equal time, “50%,” or a “fair schedule.” Those terms are parent focused and not child focused.

Acknowledge the other parent

Your children are the other party’s children too. Remember to acknowledge that your children need both parents in their lives. Children do best when they have continuing and frequent contact with both of their parents. Using terms like “our kids” instead of “my kids” will help you convey to the FCS mediator that you acknowledge and appreciate the importance of the other parent’s role. Avoid complaining about the other parent unless the circumstances warrant. The mediator is not your therapist. You are there to explain why the parenting schedule you propose is in your children’s best interest. If your spouse has a drug, alcohol, or mental health issue, present this issue in terms of how it affects the children.

Do not talk about money

The purpose of FCS Mediation is to attempt to settle the issue of child custody. You are not there to talk about child support, or anything related to money. If money is mixed in with custody, the mediator may question your motives. In any case, talking about money will detract from the issues you want to discuss concerning your children. Stay focused on the children.

Body language and posture

Remember to sit up and to smile. When you are talking about your kids let your body language reflect how much your kids mean to you. If you are asked a question that makes you feel uncomfortable, take a deep breath and re-focus on your children’s best interest. If the other parent says something nasty, do not react--acknowledge their point of view and then calmly explain your point. Mediation is a time for gentle persuasion not aggressive litigation. 

Livingstone Law has the experience and knowledge necessary to provide you with quality legal representation at an appropriate and fair price. Call or email Livingstone Law APC today and see how we can help you. If you need to retain an attorney on an urgent basis, can call or text (619) 702-1513 or email vera@livingstonelawsd.com.  Our office number is (619) 630-2164. Check out the reviews for Vera Livingstone on Google or Avvo.com or view our website at www.livingstonelawsd.com.

*The information provided above is for informational purposes only. It is not legal advice and should not be interpreted as legal advice.