Can My Teen Child Choose Which Parent They Want to Live With?

There is a common misconception that once a child reaches a certain age, they get to choose where they live and how often they see the other parent. If your child has communicated a preference to you about where they live, it is important for you to speak with a legal professional before taking any missteps that could hurt your (and your child’s) case. 

During a custody dispute, the Court’s main priority is the child’s wellbeing. California law recognizes that children, especially as they grow older, may have their own preferences regarding which parent they would like to live with. California Family Code 3042 allows the Court to consider the children’s interests, while also protecting their best interests.

What Does Family Code 3042 Say About a Child’s Preference?
Under Family Code 3042, if a child is of sufficient age and maturity to form a preference on which parent they wish to live with, the Court must consider their preference. For children 14 years and older, the law allows them to address Court if they wish, and the court must consider their preference. While the Court is required to consider the child’s preference, the Court does not have to follow it.

For children under 14, the Court has discretion when determining if it is appropriate for the child to address the Court or communicate a preference. 

The main consideration is always the child’s best interest.

How Does the Court Protect a Child’s Well-Being?
The court takes several steps to ensure that the process of expressing a preference does not harm the child. For example, in cases where the Court determines it is in the child’s best interest not to testify, it may implement different methods to ensure their voice is still heard. Different alternatives include appointing a minor’s counsel, using a custody evaluator, or relying on a child custody recommending counselor. These professionals can communicate the child’s preferences to the Court in a way that minimizes stress or emotional harm.

Additionally, Family Code 3042 requires the Court to control how a child is questioned or examined to protect their emotional and psychological well-being. In most cases, the Court will not allow the child to express their preferences in the presence of both parents, unless it determines that doing so is in the child’s best interest.

How Does the Court Weigh a Child’s Preference? 

While a child’s preference is an important factor in the Court’s decision when making custody and visitation orders, it is not the only consideration. The Court will analyze the child’s relationship with each parent, the home environment of each parent, and the child’s educational and emotional needs. The Court must weigh the child’s safety, health, and welfare. Upon analysis of these factors, the Court will evaluate whether the child’s preferences align with their best interest. The Court will then make a custody arrangement that prioritizes the child’s wellbeing – regardless of their choice.

What Should Parents Know About Custody Disputes?

If your child has expressed a preference about custody, it’s important to approach the situation thoughtfully. Here are a few tips for parents navigating this process:

• Do not tell your child that they get to choose where they live. While the Court must consider their choice once they turn 14 (and may consider it if they are younger), it does not mean the court will agree with that choice. Moreover, the Court heavily discourages a parent talking to a child about any dispute in court or disagreement about the parenting plan. Do not talk to your kids about your case.

• Do not tell the Court you want your child to testify in Court. Offering your child’s input in Court is a red flag for Judges. Courts often question why a parent is so willing to put their child through a stressful, formal legal process. 

• Focus on Your Child’s Well-Being: Remember that the Court’s primary concern is the child’s best interest. Avoid pressuring your child to choose sides or express a preference, and avoid putting them through the stressful experience of sitting in front of a judge.

• Work with Legal Professionals: An experienced family law attorney can help you understand how the court is likely to view your child’s preference and guide you through the legal process.

• Be Open to Alternative Solutions: If your child is uncomfortable speaking in Court, there are other ways for their voice to be heard. Discuss these options with your attorney.
  

Conclusion
California Family Code 3042 plays a vital role in ensuring that children have a voice in custody cases, while also protecting their best interests. If you’re facing a custody dispute, our experienced family law attorneys are here to help. Contact us today to see how we can assist you in achieving the best outcome for your family.